Sally Bonkrude Featured Women

Featured Woman – Sally Bonkrude

“Don’t be afraid to fail. In fact…go fail. And then get up and fail again. That’s the way you find success.”

Sally Bonkrude

One of a kind Presenter, Author and Voice of Change
Founder of Positive Inner Change

Location, Age, and Education:

Centennial, Colorado, U.S.; 59; Undergrad in Music Education from Mankato State University; Masters Degree in Transpersonal Psychology from Naropa University. Advanced Certification in Gestalt Therapy; Internal Family Systems Level 3

Favorite Quote:

“In the myth of the flute player, when he plays for approval, plays for prestige, plays to meet the expectations of his teacher or to avoid shame, there is always something lacking. But when he has nothing to gain and nothing to lose, then he can really play.” ~ Stephen Nachmanovitch, Free Play Improvisation in Life and Art

Do You Have Any Advice for Women in General?

Really embrace that sense of adventure. Don’t be afraid to take risks. Don’t be afraid to fail. In fact…go fail. And then get up and fail again. That’s the way you find success.

What are Some Adventures You’ve Had?

After getting my Undergrad in Music Education, I ended up composing and performing music for children. For many years I traveled nationally presenting to children, singing and dancing at festivals. I’ve been all over the U.S. and have really experienced and seen this great country.

Another big adventure of mine is that I had planned to hike the Inca Trail in Peru, and I spent a long time training for it in Colorado. Well, the agency ended up canceling the trip because it was too dangerous, but my husband signed me up through another agency so I wouldn’t miss the opportunity I had trained so hard for and to prove to myself I could do it. I loved it! I hiked all over and saw amazing and awe inspiring things. It was a very spiritual experience, and when I came back it was very clear as to what I wanted to do with my life. It really propelled me forward, and I was seeing things from a different perspective. I was seeing things deeper and everything was more magical. I was opening up to the universe in a way I hadn’t before.

Do You Thing It’s Important for Women to be Able to Travel Alone?

100% Yes. I think it’s really good for women to be independent. My husband and I have always been that way. He’s 100% supportive of what I’ve done, and he supports me being free.

Would You Recommend That All Women Should do Some Sort of Out of the Country Trip by Themselves?

I would say do what you feel drawn to do. So, for me it meant a lot of travel by myself, but I needed that independence.

What Do You Think About the SheNOW Message?

The message I’m hearing from your site is “take charge of your life right from the get go. You don’t have to follow someone else’s path or someone else’s idea of what is right for you.”

You have no idea what that step on your path will bring into your lives. So, the best way to prepare is to build up your own inner strength, self love and go with your passions. You don’t have to follow anybody’s rules, or society’s pressures. All you have is this one moment in time, and if you don’t take the take time to listen within yourself for guidance, you may miss the journey you were put on the planet to take.

What is the Best Way for Women To Prepare for the Future?

Our world is changing so fast, and we have no idea what the next day is going to bring. The most important thing is to be prepared internally, know who you are, what your values are and what’s really important in life.

Do You Remember if You Felt Pressure From Family or Society to Marry?

Here’s the thing, I don’t think that in my day it was even a question. A lot of my schoolmates were married out of high school. Both of my sisters went to school and got married, and I followed the pattern that my family set up, and the philosophy of the small midwest town where I grew up.

I think today’s woman knows that there are options, and I think that’s good. It’s incredibly good for women to say, “I can get married…whenever! I can be 50 if I want. Maybe, I want to have my own life first and travel the world, etc.” Right on to them! It’s like this, ask yourself what’s churning inside you that needs to happen. That’s what you should do….Go for it and don’t let anyone stop you.

What Would Your Advice be for Young Women Who Feel Pressure?

I would say to really check inside, and if there is a feeling of fear or pain around not having a partner right now…just look at that. Ask yourself, “Why can I not say – ‘I don’t need a partner right now, I’m loving life. Maybe this will be forever, or maybe the right partner will find their way to me. Meanwhile life is good.’” And, if life sucks, it doesn’t mean a partner is the answer…find out the answers to your personal happiness first…The right partner will then show up or not (and that’s ok too).

Sometimes your community may be sending you the message that you’re not complete without a partner. Maybe it’s time to change your community support system to one that is more open and supports your beliefs around marriage. In other words if you’re with a bunch of women that are all getting married because that’s what they “have” to do…and then you start feeling the pressure. It’s recognizing that and asking yourself, “Is there another group of women that can support me in a different way?”

What Would be Different if You Had Married at 30 vs. 21?

I have no idea, so I’m just making this up, but my guess is that I would have found a community of friends that were into the arts, music, freedom….people that were open to new experiences.

Now, going back to the period and the timing back then, because this would have been in the 70’s, there probably would have been a VW and lots of musicians running around and having fun. I probably would have done a lot more performing as well. Would that have been better? Maybe, maybe not… I don’t know.

There’s always been a little piece of me that has leaned a bit towards the folksy types of people, music and living on the edge. I kind of feel like I would have explored that whole freedom thing a bit more had I been unmarried longer. You know, hitch hiking with my guitar on my back and living out in the woods…ha ha!! I don’t know, obviously I didn’t make that choice, but I think there’s always been a little part of me that wanted that or was curious about that life style.

Any General Advice on Future Partners??

Take your time finding the right partner. Have similar values and believes. Ask yourself, “Can I trust this person to be with me no matter what happens…through tragedy, success, failure and whatever life throws at me?” Take your time, know yourself first, and go for the best partner you can imagine.

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2 comments on “Featured Woman – Sally Bonkrude

  1. It was wonderful reading about Sally. I especially love the advise on travel – I used to travel alone a lot, but haven’t in the last 2 years, which I miss. I miss that feeling of independence – non-reliance on your respective other, as it is so easy to fall into.

    I also love what Sally said about knowing yourself – that is the best advise. I know that now as I now know myself (mostly hehe).

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