The Journey is Complete

I made my final post-op doctor’s visit on December 27th! Leading up to that day, I marveled at the transformation and how it changed my life.

For the first time, I got to see my “before”, my day-after-surgery and my “after” pictures………I am truly amazed! This was not just a “physical” journey; it was in so many ways, much deeper than that. This “physical” change brought up all sorts of emotions that I never expected. Because I wanted this so badly, I had to keep myself focused on the big picture and not let any of the outside influences deter me.

The big picture was ME and what I felt I needed for reasons that pertained to ME and no one other than ME. I can still hear women criticizing me for reducing the very thing that most women want. Or men that have no “personal” place in my life making comments about my decision and telling me what they think I should or shouldn’t do. I was so angry at them, and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! For a short time, I allowed those comments to impact my thoughts surrounding the decision, but it wasn’t long before I shrugged off those negative opinions and realized again………… “This is for ME!”

As the healing process continued, I gained a new appreciation for SHOPPING! I went to the mall and had a “Field Day!” I took pictures in halter tops, strapless dresses, spaghetti strapped dresses and shirts, one arm dresses, etc. I felt like a kid in a candy store! I have not seen myself any ANYTHING like those items since my early 20’s, but now I have a “new” level confidence.

I can walk upright and not feel as though I am carrying two boulders on my chest that everyone is staring at. For the first time, in a long time, I felt “normal.”

The defining moment of truth was when I walked into JC Penny to buy my first “real bra.” Up till then, I only wore the “contouring” or “sports” bras. But THAT day, I got to find something pretty and see what my “true” size was.

So there I was, in a stall with about 12 bras, and I was both excited and scared. The first bra kind of hurt a little, and I determined I wasn’t ready for underwire just yet. After several other attempts, I walked away with a beautiful black lace bra at a size…………………drum roll please. Duududududududududududud (not sure what kind of drum that is but you get the picture) 38 C!!!!!!! OMG! I went from a 42F down to a 38 C!

I yelled and jumped around the fitting room stall in pure joy and excitement! Woo-hoooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look at me! LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!! It wasn’t long before an attendant came over to ask if everything was okay, and I simply responded, “Just enjoying the boobies!” LOL!

As soon as I got home, I FINALLY threw away the old bras I had prior to the surgery. In that freeing moment, I let go of the past pain and hurt and embraced its closure.

Today, a journey that began several years ago has been marked “complete.” From the moment the thought entered my mind to have the surgery, the events of the whole ordeal have proven to be an exact replication of my life. Those moments of doubt, fear, confusion and pain all led to that pivotal moment of looking at myself in the mirror and loving and adoring the person I see!

This was far more than a surgery. It was a life changing event. There were times that I hurt so badly, I wished I hadn’t had the surgery. At the same time, I knew that it was the best thing for me so I would work hard at staying calm and focused and keeping positive thoughts in mind.

During this transformation, I saw myself bandaged up, bruised, uncomfortable and in pain. Day by day, week by week… I saw something beautiful forming. The same care I gave to myself as a “healing” measure toward the surgery, I applied towards “healing” my life in general. I saw areas of my life that were bruised as well, and I applied the “bandages” and gave love to those wounded places. I would blanket those areas with positivity and belief that all would be fine…. and now they are. Pretty soon, I realized that my “outside” finally matched my “inside.” And, I know that my life will never again be the same!

What an AWESOME Experience! I FEEL FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!

Images from 123rf.com and Alex Slobodkin/iStockphoto.com