man and woman13618098_s Love & Sex

What He Needs To Do For A Woman Like You


By: Chiara Mazzucco

There’s something magical about men, and there’s something addictive about being with them. It’s the way they touch, the way they challenge your inner beast, the way they ignite a fire within you. It’s easy to want to make that your every day routine: pleasure, chaos, and passion. But have you ever heard too much of a good thing can be a bad thing? And what about the idea that if something doesn’t spark every fiber of your being, it’s not worth paying any mind to? See, women like us don’t need men, but we might want men. And yes, there is a difference between needing a man and wanting a man. We want men, we want sex, we want love – but not for any sense of desperation, or to fill a void. We want men because they’re just the icing on our cake. And icing is gooooood.

The question is, can just any man step into the sugary role? What, exactly, must a man do to be with a woman like you?

You Hold the Marker:

When drawing your timeline, you call the shots, and he needs to accept that. Not all women have the hunger to achieve greatness in their life, but the ones who do, like you, need to be able to call the shots comfortably. This is the number one thing a man needs to do to be with a woman like you.

If he is not willing to wait, lies about it, or changes his mind a few months in, I’d suggest ending it before things get too serious. I know I’m harsh – but that’s my thing.

Be the Backbone You Already Have:

That’s the thing about women like you – you’re your number 1 fan, you believe in yourself, and you are the strength that gets you through tomorrow, onto the path of your dreams. But, just because you do such a good job at it, it doesn’t mean he shouldn’t jump on the backbone train. It’s important to be on the same team.

And let’s be honest here, you wouldn’t tolerate a man who didn’t believe in you, would you?

Challenge You:

And not in a I’m-a-man-I’m-better way, but rather, a you-can-be-better-trainer way. A real partner doesn’t just wait in bed with legs spread for your arrival; he helps you be a better person. This is, in my opinion, absolutely crucial. It demonstrates a sense of respect, emphasizes a partnership, and shows he is aware of your potential and is willing to help you reach it.

Absolutely crucial.

Because, you see, a woman like you doesn’t need a man. In fact, in most cases, you shouldn’t even be bothered with one. The truth is, the world is filled with sugar, and temptation is all around us – let’s face it, an orgasm helps get things done! So if you’re going to do it, do it smart. Don’t let a sugar surge cloud your judgment and dismiss red flags.

Just remember that a man is the icing, not the full cupcake. Remember that you are building the life you want to live, and a strong independent woman lives in the NOW. And most importantly, remember, a man worth being with will understand you, respect your dreams, and push you to be a better person.

Chiara Mazzucco is a sex, dating, and relationship blogger and co-founder and editor of The Indie Chicks – An Online Magazine for the Bad Ass Independent Woman. She published her first book, The 9 Mirages of Love: How to Stop Chasing What Doesn’t Exist, in December 2011, and going full speed ahead, making her dreams come true. She believes in the power of ‘you’ and always caters her advice to favor the individual.

Twitter: @ichiarasays
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Mazzucco.Chiara


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13 comments on “What He Needs To Do For A Woman Like You

  1. You just put into words what I haven’t been able to for YEARS! I do not NEED a man but there are times I sure as hell WANT a man. I will NOT settle for somebody who doesn’t support & encourage my dreams and then push me until I’m achieving them. I will NOT allow somebody to demand more of me, my time, or my energy than I have to give. I understand that a relationship, love, and sex are nice and yes, I’d like them but I’m just fine on my own. If it happens then that’s great but right now my focus is my career. Until a time that I feel I can dedicate myself to a relationship I’ll just be sampling the icing with greedy hands…like a kid in a candy store! ;) Great post, as always, Chiara.

  2. Thank you for expressing something that women like us have always felt. So many relationship advice columns are too afraid to say that even if we want men, we definitely don’t need them. My favorite line is: “in most cases, you shouldn’t even be bothered with one.” I really am feeling that way right now as I think about a guy I know.

    ~Sarah

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