Lindsay. Britney. Miley. Rihanna. They could be your next door neighbors, they could be the girls you go to school with, they could be your relatives and they could even be you. But they’re not. They are celebrities living under the harsh light of fame and fortune.
‘Hollywood stars and a culture of self-destruction’
By: Asha K
Sadly, the ladies mentioned are best known for going off the rails at some point in their careers. It could happen to anyone, but the difference is that these young women are not getting the help they desperately need because the media thinks it is more important to have our nightly entertainment news filled with their stories.
For instance, take a look at the Rihanna-Chris Brown saga, which is a never ending battle of opinions and confusion for fans and critics alike. One day she is tweeting a horrific picture of her bloody and bruised face, the next they are hanging out and allegedly dating again. This rumored relationship has sparked outrage. Why is she willingly going back to her abuser? I mean, I get it, when you are in love with someone, and they treat you badly, it doesn’t automatically erase those feelings.
But has she gotten to the point where she doesn’t think she can do any better? With all her beauty, success and popularity, what is it inside of her psyche that keeps pulling her back toward Brown?
Let’s take a look at the most notorious example, Lindsay Lohan. From the innocent freckle-faced, red-headed Disney star to a tumultuous 20-something who has clearly lost the plot. She struggles to land any starring roles, and, when she does, she is still plagued with drug and alcohol rumors. Her “comeback” movie Liz and Dick premiered to dismal response, but what dominated the headlines instead? The news of her arrest for a drunken brawl in a New York nightclub. Oy vey…
Why do these Hollywood starlets self-destruct? Why does anyone self-destruct? What does it take to get to the point where one literally does not care about what happens to them?
I, myself, have been in a relationship with someone very self-destructive, and it was explained to me like this: “It is a way of coping with emotional stress that is very intense and can’t be handled. To some, self-destructive actions are a way of converting emotional problems that are too hard to deal with into physical problems that are easier to deal with.”
“It will be a tough road to recovery, but it is possible,” says self-help author Halom Vered.
He says it begins with looking inward and fixing that which lies within. Nothing can be done without self-acceptance.
“Self-destructive behavior is a way for us to “deal” with hardships in our life, by making things worse. If you got rid of one bad habit just to replace it with another one, you’ve done nothing.”
“Instead, strive to replace your destructive habits with constructive ones and after a while you will never want things to go back to the way they were.”
He outlines a few key steps on TheChangeBlog.org that are helpful to changing this behavior:
1. Start by forgiving yourself. Feeling guilty only drives you toward more self-destructive actions, but forgiving yourself will break that cycle.
2. Know your ‘enemy’ and start eliminating those very things that are going to continually bring you down, whether it be alcohol, junk food, pornography, drugs, sex, etc.
3. Self-abuse is often a form of escapism. You need to identify what it is that you are running away from and why.
And finally, replace bad habits with the complete opposite.
While others cannot be held responsible for a person’s self-destructive behavior, it is a delicate balance. Especially when it is a celebrity in question who has their every move scrutinized.
I truly hope the Lindsay’s, Britney’s and Miley’s of this world will find true happiness and peace within themselves. Let’s become a culture of support and encouragement rather than enabling destructive behavior.
Asha K is TV Host and Blogger. Born in the UK, raised in Australia, living in Los Angeles and Indian by ethnicity, her passion is to use her platform to influence and empower young women to live their best lives. She has worked for Fox, MTV, Disney, Nickelodeon, TV Guide Network, ABC, MSN.com and Myspace.com just to name a few, and has been nominated for 2 Television awards in Australia. Asha is the creator and founder of lifestyle website GirlTalkHQ.com. She started it to share and create content showing young women there is more to life than trying to be a Kardashian or a ‘Real Housewife’, and to share real women’s stories. You can find her on twitter @girltalkhq and @thisisashak and facebook.com/girltalkhq
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